眾神的黃昏

Firstly I wanna say, F came back, oh yeah!

On Oct.1st, F and me flew to my hometown--Chengdu.

She hadn't came back to her hometown--Shuanliu Chengdu for years,

this time she got CD, immediately she found her love to CD which sinks deep in her heart.

We visited much, eat much, it's the best holiday I have.

However, I don't think she left a good impression to my parents, what a pity.

Now I came back to work again, F came back to work also,

good luck.

People said that one people equals one city,

nowadays I could feel it deep in my heart...

I came HZ which is a small city far away from home on Jul.9th.2008.

Far away from home, which was the worst sentence I've hated,

but now, I don't hate it at all...

In HZ, I met many friends such as Liulian, Lizi, Apple, Tiger, Kunlun and so on,

but the most significative one, is a girl called F, who become my girlfriend on the first day of this year.

I still remember she showed me a small note book which was filled with the imformation of seeking job...

I still remember she told me that she don't know how to face the No.26 bus if we won't lovers...

I still remember she forgot her diploma in SONY...

I still remember she came to my bedroom, but I went to Hongguan...

I still remember she came back from SZ to see me just didn't want me to feel lonely...

I still remember she had a deep fever that night...

I still remember she sold her gold jewelry to save money for me to buy me a Leica,

    but all she got is forged note...

I still remember she said nothing to me yesterday, even didn't raise her head had to see me,

throw away her cigatette...

Lots of things I still remember...

Dose she no loger love me?

Dose she want to go away from me?

She is the only lover, famliy member for me in HZ.

She is the only reason for me to still stay in HZ, such a small city far away from home.

She is the only one who lets me feel I'm so near, so near, so near by my home, our own home...

I don't know whether she feels sick of me, whether she wants to go away from me...

If HZ is a city without F, I couldn't find any reason and meaning for me to stay in HZ any longer.

I'm still waiting, waiting for her reply, but I'm afrarid she won't give me any word but silence...

Is it the time for me to go back to my hometown?

I don't know whether it is good or bad for me,

I only know I'm afraid of it,

and hate it...

I was drunk yesterday, my sight turned unclear,

it's the first time I am drunk like this,

F still don't want to contact with me,

she said she becomes disgusted with me.

F sold all her gold jewelry to save moeny to buy me a Leica.

However, she sold the real jeweley, got the forged note!!!

All of the forged note had been confiscated by the bank when she stored it...

Helpless...She cried in the washroom...

What can I do for her?

I don't know what I can do for her!

What a poor damn boy I am!!!

Sit on a bus, on the way to my poor bedroom...

The buildings outside come into my eyes, and the street lights fly out of my sight...

Will I me single again?

I don't know whether it is good or bad for me,

I only know I'm afraid of being single, I don't like it, really...